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Sara Martin
Sara Martin
live in the power of your story
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Hi! I’m Sara, a writer navigating life after faith. To learn more about this blog, click here.

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Written June/July 2021 in memory of my friend and life coach, Steve Austin. 💙 https://religionnews.com/2021/06/10/steve-austin-former-pastor-who-wrote-about-suicide-and-mental-health-struggles-dies/ 🔸 FIND ME ON SOCIAL MEDIA 🔸 Instagram: https://instagram.com/sara_martin24/ Website: https://sara-martin.com/ YouTube: https://youtube.com/channel/UC49ikLIIIwWj74BySg9M8OA Twitter: https://twitter.com/sara_martin_24
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sara_martin24

Changing my world with empathy and words. ❤️✍🏼
human / writer / artist
@alysonstoner is a wonderful human. Their book "Se @alysonstoner is a wonderful human. Their book "Semi-Well-Adjusted Despite Literally Everything" was a gift to read, and getting to hear them speak in person was incredible. I especially resonated with their religious deconstruction journey woven throughout their story. Thank you, @alysonstoner, for inspiring another writer to keep pursuing telling my story, too (despite the, ahem, "challenges" of publishing a book 😂). Now go buy a copy of their book!!
Hi, I'm Sara. I had a viral Christian deconstructi Hi, I'm Sara. I had a viral Christian deconstruction video on YouTube five years ago, then I disappeared from the internet.⁣ ⁣ Long story short, I never anticipated being bombarded with *thousands* of people's opinions on my journey with (and out of) faith, and it made me realize maybe I didn't want to share my story so publicly.⁣ ⁣ After abandoning YouTube, I discovered there was a huge part of my deconstruction journey I still hadn't faced yet: my trauma. And boy, have I faced my trauma. I spent the last few years deep-diving into my trauma with multiple therapists trying to talk through it, EMDR it, and ultimately process it. Heavy shit.⁣ ⁣ Through it all, what I've learned the past five years is that I no longer need anyone, including people on the internet, to validate my story in order to be okay. My deconstruction from Christianity is no longer a central component of my identity. I'm no longer in my angry exvangelical phase.⁣ ⁣ I've been doing the work of exploring what views, beliefs, and mindsets resonate with me as a person who's done the work of reckoning with my religious past. Does that past still affect me and trigger me at times? Absolutely. But my life no longer revolves around or is dictated by it. Hell, I even work at a church now (and no, I still am not a Christian, nor religious in any way. I'm telling you: therapy. 🙌🏼)⁣ ⁣ These days, I mostly exist in the spaces of physical exhaustion, existential dread, and general contentment with life. I'm overwhelmed by my internal world a lot of the time, but having a small child who demands attention forces me back into the present moment. ⁣ ⁣ If you're reading this, thank you. I don't know what my online presence will be in the future because the way social media rewires our brains really disturbs me. But here's a quick "hello" and a photo of the lovely books currently on my reading list.
When I deconstructed my Christian faith, I didn't When I deconstructed my Christian faith, I didn't realize how unprepared I'd be to eventually lose someone I loved.⁣ ⁣ The only narrative of dying, death, and the afterlife I've ever known is the evangelical Christian one. I was taught to find comfort and hope in knowing the instant someone dies, they are in the perfect presence of Jesus (assuming they were Christian). No more suffering, just an eternity of blissfulness to spend in heaven which I would someday join them to enjoy forever.⁣ ⁣ But it was more than that. I was taught not to mourn when someone died. I wasn't supposed to be sad like those with no Christian hope. I was supposed to be joyful because believing in Jesus meant the alternative narrative of death didn't apply to me or my loved ones when we eventually died.⁣ ⁣ Losing my grandma a year ago was the first major loss I experienced since outgrowing my faith, and it was every bit as awful as I imagined it would be. But in the past few months I've realized not only am I grieving; I don't know how to grieve. My former faith gave me no salvageable tools. Few, if any, transferable coping techniques.⁣ ⁣ Evangelical Christianity robbed me of how to think about death.⁣ ⁣ So for a long time, it's felt like I've been stuck in mud desperately spinning my wheels trying to move even an inch. How do you get out when the only thing guiding you was an ancient map claiming to be the only route?⁣ ⁣ It's made my grieving process much more complicated. But I'm finally gaining new, helpful perspectives thanks to counseling and religiously-neutral grief and loss resources.⁣ ⁣ Still, I feel cheated. I feel angry. And it's okay to feel that way.⁣ ⁣ #exvangelical #deconstruction #griefandloss #death
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